Sexless

If I was celibate and sexless, I could still create art, travel the world, study history and sociology, write film reviews, learn to skii, swim in the ocean -- do all sorts of things that would leave me breathless, achy, sweaty, and too worn out for sex -- and I can tell you, each memory would last longer than most of my amazing sex stories.

Subtle Roller-Coaster of Stylistic Values

I just explained my taste to a prospective sub as follows:

I expect subs to be incredibly proactive and productive, to have their own agendas and report on their progress. EG, if you're going to college, I want to know that you're putting all of your effort into success. If you're a business man, I want to know that you're making and meeting goals. If you're an artist, I expect you to make and keep a schedule, orchestrate a career of some sort out of it, etc.

I can go meta in setting up a structure and work you like a horse, I can hurt you to clear your mind and direct you through a strict regimen. I also apply this to social phobias and insecurities. I forge in fire; to the recreational weekenders I don't seem to do much, because I prefer to take subtle control. However, I don't seek to create service zombies, so the majority of my regimen includes empowerment of my subs.

On Taming

It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," the fox said.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

Professional Clarity

I have a general disdain for the grey-area terminology of the Escort industry.

I like my business dealings to be defined in clear-cut and explicit terms. I can talk a special dialect of implication and innuendo with people I have a deeper rapport with, but when I am working with perfect strangers in professional settings, I would really rather say, what I expect from a client, deliver on my end of the bargain and demand a certain level of mature composure, rather than having an unfortunate exchange later about what "time" and "roses" and "services" all mean.

Summary: You will pay currency money dollars for the focus of my attention and a domineering or directorial attitude on my part, usually with some sense of sadomasochism attached.

The Fall of an Icon

March 10th, 2010. Frank Frazetta, a major icon of Sci-Fi and Fantasy art, passed away at age 82. He had a good and productive life, but it was still heart-wrenching to lose such a great mind.

Widely regarded as the godfather of fantastical illustration, Frank influenced an entire generation of artists and filmmakers with powerful images of strapping warriors defending curvaceous maidens from creatures that were undoubtedly spawned in hell. Some of the more notable collectors and fans of his work include Hollywood types such as Steven Spielberg,George Lucas, Peter Jackson,Clint Eastwood, John Milius,Guillermo del Toro andSylvester Stallone. His impact on the world of illustration, comic and concept art is undeniable. You cannot walk into a game studio, visual-effects house, comics convention or onto a film set without finding someone who was heavily influenced by Frank’s work at a young age, which in turn affected his or her own career decision.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2010/05/frank-frazetta-painted-with-fire-.html

On Vicious Cycles

Recommended reading: Indecent: How I Make It and Fake It as a Girl for Hire proves I'm not the only one who sees it this way. Just sayin'.

Talking to a friend today, she suggested that I try stripping. I'm not against stripping -- far from it. My main issue, however, came up when talking about becoming a bartender in the interim between now and perfecting my dancing skills:

The girls don't fuck with the bartender.
Well, it would be nice not to get fucked with.
At least, the girls who know better don't fuck with the bartender.
Why, what would she do?
Ignore them. When they want a drink, when they want to get a drink for a guy, when a guy wants to get them a drink. Ignore them.
Oh, haha, what a catty industry!
Yeah, it is. That's why I left: it turned me into a real bitch.

Guys probably think that the girls who get into stripping are bitches by default. I'll tell you, that is not the case. We go in naive and come out jaded, having been fucked up by a mutually objectifying culture attached to a perfectly valid art-form.

My Title: Moirae

The ancient Greek Fates. This is the perfect title for a woman who identifies as a steadfast switch, representing each stage and aspect of life in especially female terms.

The Moirae or Moerae (in Greek Μοῖραι – the "apportioners", often called The Fates), in Greek mythology, were the white-robed personifications of destiny (Roman equivalent: Parcae, euphemistically the "sparing ones", or Fata; also equivalent to the Germanic Norns). Their number became fixed at three.

The Greek word moira (μοῖρα) literally means a part or portion, and by extension one's portion in life or destiny. They controlled the metaphorical thread of life of every mortal from birth to death.

Moirae. (2010, April 17). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 06:53, April 30, 2010, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Moirae&oldid=356684438

Switch Theory

Technically, guys, I am not a dom; I'm a steadfast and established switch.

I've been into BDSM in my private life for 14 years, lived in spurts as both a dom and a sub, studied theory and watched cult S/M movies. I am a switch. I am not confused, I am not trying to choose. I am a switch.

Still, I don't submit to strangers. Not really. I can take a spanking or flogging or binding at a club, I can speak respectfully and fulfill tasks diligently, I can look ever the obedient submissive. However, outside of a deep rapport and feelings of innate love and trust, I never switch out of the dom mentality.

Percussive torture is a form of therapeutic massage. Tasks are a responsibility to be met with due diligence but never a sense of subservience. A randomized dom above me is an acting partner.

Furthermore, I'm not sure it's that easy, from an instinctual standpoint, to truly submit if one does not trust their authority figure and feel safe, which is no bad thing for basic survival.

So I'm a switch; just not your switch.